B4 spm Eric and I usually go to the library 2gether.. actually almost everyday oso.. At 1st things were GREAT but suddenly.. we fyt a lot.. even over small things.. We made up after each fyt..
After SPM, I see much much less of him.. he's spending a lot of his tym with his guy friends.. haven't even went out with him once after Spm.. Well, of course I grew restless.. I tried bringing him out.. but there wud always be an alasan det he cant go out wit me.. I kept smsing him and kolling him.. but it grew less coz I decided 2 spend my holidays hanging out with Jonathan Klassen and the gang ( Farhan, Alvin)..
There was a time when somebody told me he was in KK wen he told me he was goin home minutes b4 this sumbodi called him 2 ask where he was. So I called him, wondering if he had a change of plans.. at 1st he said he was in his room, then when i questioned him about that somebody tellin me he said he's in KK , he suddenly said he was in his frend's mother's office..
Then there was another time, I missed called him.. and msg him.. but he didnt reply at all.. my friend Avin (Alvin L. Wan) suggested that he try miss calling him on his hp.. guess what? he missed called and sms him again.. askin him who he was.. SO i msg him laa.. askin him y he answered my friend's call but not mine.. he said his phone line wasn't okay.. Some how I doubt it..
I felt so sad and down.. Wondering what I did wrong..a few days later I smsed him.. askin him whats wrong.. and if he still loved me.. and asking him if he wanted to break up.. he didnt reply to me that day.. I missed called him till the nex day when he asked me not to call him for a wyl coz he was frustated wit our situation..
The nex day I called his friend Grace.. ( I had argued wit Eric bout him spending too much tym with her.. stupid kan? but I didnt tell him to not be friends with her, only to spend more tym with me...is that stupid?) I asked for her help to talk to Eric.. She was suprised wit our situation coz she tot we were like really 'bahagia' .. haha.. she did help me .. she told me he finds my attitude annoying.. haha.. and Eric finally agreed 2 talk to me..
He told me he cant communicate wit me.. cant 'click'.. He didn't even wan to say 'break up'.. Told me he'd rather call it as us just being friends.. I cried of course.. stupid me.. and said bye to him.. I'm actualy shedding tears wyl writing this.. haha...
I tot I cud get tru dis.. I pshyco'd myself into thinking I'm really okay... with help from Effie ( Love u pipS! Thank yoU!) coz i got tru d day after the cry durin d break up without shedding a tear.. In fact I felt lighter..
The nex day.. Today... I went to church.. all of a sudden.. durin the Sign of Peace.. I thought of him..how we usually hugged.. I cried.. thank God I was sitting with Thyn (Jonathan Klassen) .. then the Our Father..when i thought of when I once joked pretending I was holding his hand when he was across the room from me during a school mass.. I cried and cried.. hurm.. dunno la.. untill now I still keep shedding tears... Pipz(Effie) and Von( LOVE YOU!!!) smsed me to give me comfort..
Now.. I'm writing this even thought my feet( its purple oredy!) and my back hurt after my job as a waitress at Shangrila Tanjung Aru Resort.. and I'm damn tired... I cant lie to myself la.. I MISS ERIC.... haha.. I'm crying again...